


Nintendo Hard

by byakuzee



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-15
Updated: 2013-03-15
Packaged: 2017-12-05 09:23:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/721449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/byakuzee/pseuds/byakuzee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsuna wasn't a sore loser, but he couldn't say the same about his guardians and the Varia though.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nintendo Hard

**Author's Note:**

> Have some failed crack.

 

_"The idea of struggling against a game that does absolutely everything in its power to put you down, where every level completed is another tiny and insignificant victory against the malicious game designer, has some sort of weird appeal... A lot of die-hard retro gamers often pine for the days when games were a real challenge—The Tower of Druaga exemplifies this in spades. So, if you're sick of modern games holding your hand with endless tutorials, and want a genuine challenge that will almost certainly crush your enthusiasm for all forms of electronic entertainment, be my guest!"_

—  **Gaming Hell**  on  _The Tower of Druaga._

* * *

Tsuna really didn't want to work today; it was cold and all he wanted was to laze around and drink hot coca near the fire place. It was because the winter was diffrent here in Italy than it was in Japan, he mused.

Looking boredly from his office's window, he wondered if this day would turn out to be interesting. It was then that a knock on the door awoke him from his thoughts. "Come in."

The guard that usually stationed at the mansion's front gate entered, making him curious about why he was here. "I'm sorry to interrupt Decimo, but there is a package for you," the guard said, putting a small box on his desk.

"Thank you, Carlo." Tsuna smiled at him, the other returned the smile as he took his leave.

Now that he was alone again, he curiously approached the box and noticed that there was a note attached to it. Tsuna couldn't help himself from smiling fondly when he read it.

...

_Hi there, Tsuna!_

_I know it has been only month since you left Namimori, but I missed having you around. The house grew quiet without your morning shrieks._

_Anyway, yesterday I was cleaning the attic (it has been a long time since it got cleaned) when I found this! You used to play it when you were a child but you never finished it because our neighbor's son had lost it. So when I saw it I thought I should send it to you just so you could play it again. I hope you'll enjoy._

_Come back for the holidays, okay?_

_Oh, and don't forget to eat and sleep well!_

_Love Maman ^_^_

_..._

Opening the box, he found out that it was a familiar Nintendo game, and that there was a console with it too. He remembered being so mad when he lost it that he was sulked for weeks. He didn't even continue the first level! So now that he finally reunited with his beloved game, he would finish it no matter what.

_His work can wait, right?_

Taking the box, he went to an abandoned room next to his office. It wasn't a special room or anything - it only had a small TV and a couch - but he really didn't need more to play.

So after some struggling with plugging up the console, he started playing.

He was really having fun; although the game was difficult and he just kept dying at level eleven. He needed time to remember the basics though, so it wasn't a big deal.

He wasn't a sore loser.

* * *

 

_"Let's talk about the puzzles in this game. La-Mulana is not forgiving. La-Mulana is not your friend. La-Mulana stole your bike when you were eight."_

—  **Deceased Crab** , in his Let's Play of  _La-Mulana._

* * *

The room's door was suddenly slammed open revealing a distressed Gokudera. "Tenth! Whe... oh, you're here." He sighed with relief at that.

"Oh, hello Gokudera," Tsuna greeted, too engrossed in the game to pay attention to the half broken door and the sliver-haired man in front of it.

"I was looking all over for you," Gokudera replied, stepping forward to where the other was. "I was afraid you were kidnapped or something."

Tsuna just nodded.

Finally that he found his boss, Gokudera began reporting why he was looking for him in the first place. "The Varia decided they were bored so they came here; since this was the main HQ and they didn't have any missions this time of year."

"That's nice," was his boss's reply.

"They're currently destroying the main hall, Tenth."

"That's nice."

"The chefs and maids were almost stabbed and shot. We'll have to pay for their therapy soon."

"That's nice."

"I will kill someone today."

"That's nice."

At that, Gokudera confirmed that Tsuna wasn't listening to him. And seeing that he had nothing else to do other than facing the Varia - a very annoying task, mind you - he chose to take a seat next to his friend.

"So, what are you playing?" he asked curiously; he wasn't familiar with old games like the one he was watching Tsuna play.

And for first time since he entered the room, Tsuna turned towards him. "Slammers and Dungeons. You get to play as an imprisoned knight trying to escape so he could save the princess. It's also one of the harde- oh man, I'm dead again. Now I have to start all over." He sighed irritably.

"Can I try?"  _It looked fun, so why not?_

"Sure." Tsuna smiled, handing him the controller. "Make sure that you don't touch the walls when you walk. You should also dodge the knives that are going to be thrown at you."

 _Seems simple enough._  "Alright." And the moment Gokudera stepped one little step, he died.  _What the hell?_

"You touched the wall," Tsuna explained.

 _Only the sword touched it!_  "I'll try again." The other nodded and advised him not to let anything touch the wall - not even a hair.

Taking the advice to heart, Gokudera started again.

And died.

"Why?"

"A knife hit you, they tend to twist when they almost reach you," was the explanation.

 _But that makes them impossible to dodge!_  Gokudera didn't ask for permission to try again this time, but he died nonetheless.

"I was dodging the knife."

"Next time, you should be careful not to touch the wall, too."  _Why is the Tenth treating this like it's no big deal? It's freaking impossible to dodge the twisting knives and still watch out for the wall! And this is just the first level!_

But no matter how much he tried, he still died.

"You're making progress, don't be hard on yourself." Tsuna tried to cheer him up, but sadly, it didn't work. He was still sulking.

Clenching the controller tightly, Gokudera declared, "Tenth, I'm going to defeat this evil game no matter what! My pride as your right-hand-man is at stake!" Making the other sweat drop.

Tsuna wanted to ask _'How?'_  but he chose against It. "It's just a game Gokudera, no one will judge you." But Gokudera heard none of it.

"Imagine if a rival family of ours challenged me to a duel using this game; I'll fail and the Vongola will be disgraced!" he argued passionately, one could even see the fires in his eyes.

"Gokudera, that's absurd even by mafia standards."

"But what if it did happen?"

"I doubt that mafia families even know Nintendo." Tsuna sighed when he saw that Gokudera was not listening to him and was more focused on trying to beat the game, cursing the living day light out of it every time he died.

Maybe letting his hot-tempered friend play that game wasn't a good decision on his part.

The sound of approaching footsteps made Tsuna turn towards the door and see that it was Yamamoto. "There you ar- is this a new room?" Yamamoto asked curiously, observing the place.

"Hello to you too," Tsuna simply replied. Taking a closer look at the swordsman, he asked with a slight feeling of upcoming dread, "why do you look like you just got out of a battle?"

Yamamoto chuckled. "For some reason, Xanxus tried to shoot me."

 _You shouldn't laugh at the fact that someone tried to murder you! Wait... did he just say Xanxus?_  "The Varia are here?"

"Yeah, didn't Gokudera tell you?" Yamamoto asked, tilting his head.

"He didn-" Eyes widening in remembrance, Tsuna exclaimed panickedly. "They're here! Oh God the HQ will be done for! The losses! The bills!"

While Tsuna was having a panic attack, Yamamoto curiously sat next to Gokudera. "What are you playing?" but Gokudera didn't answer him and just kept cursing the game with all his worth.

Taking the controller when Gokudera died again (much to the other's annoyance), Yamamoto started playing. "So how do you play this game?"

Gokudera looked as though he was about to tell him to piss off, but he just sighed with irritation and began explaining, "You go forward without touching the walls and without letting the knives hit you."

Yamamoto merely nodded. "Sounds easy."

"It isn't," Gokudera scoffed.

"Oh, I think I won." Yamamoto pointed at the screen.  _Two minutes later._

Gokudera stared.

And stared.

And stared some more.

And then he started freaking out. "What the hell? I was trying to beat this level for an entire hour!"

Yamamoto just laughed good naturedly, getting ready to play the next level. "Well I guess I was lucky." Gokudera only raised his hands helplessly, inwardly asking  _'Why?'_

But then, at level two, Yamamoto died.

"Aha!" Gokudera exclaimed, looking  _very_  pleased at the other's failure.

"I didn't see that wall," the Rain Guardian defended. But trying again, he died.

"Sure you didn't," Gokudera replied with all the smugness he had.

"I'll beat this," he declared, eyes taking a sharp edge and competitive streak kicking.

It was at that moment that Tsuna woke up from his ramblings and saw that his other friend also fell into the Nintendo trap.

_Oh God, not you too!_

* * *

  _"_ The Adventures of Bayou Billy _is not the shittiest game in the world - but what it_ _ **is**_ _is the most nipple-twisting, nut-aching, hair-pulling, ulcer-causing, butt-itching, frustrating motherfucker of a game you ever saw. Now,_ The Adventures Of Bayou Billy _is, as I said, a frustrating game, but what many people don't know is that it's also the_ _ **hardest**_ _game ever made. Now, I know some people will come forward and tell you that the_ Gradius _games or_ Ghosts N Goblins _, they're a real challenge, and they don't know what they're talking about because I fucking guarantee you that_ _ **nobody**_ _has beaten_ The Adventures Of Bayou Billy _fairly. I mean, not without some kind of emulator or Game Genie or divine intervention - this game is_ _ **fucking HARD**_ _."_  


—  **Noah** ** _'The Spoony One'_** **Antwiler**  on  _The Adventures Of Bayou Billy._

* * *

_How in the world did things end up like this?_

"You trash cans are just pathetic. You can't even dodge a freaking knife!"

"Shut up! You couldn't even finish the first level."

"You want to start something, Vongola?"

"Maybe I do!"

"Bring it on, you bastard!"

_How exactly did all of his guardian and the Varia gather up in this room?_

_And why oh why are they playing a freaking Nintendo game?_

It was currently Ryohei that was playing the game, the others were sitting around him, taunting.

"You're officially the master of failures," Fran noted dully.

"Agreed." The others nodded.

At that notion, Ryohei snapped. "Let's see you try to beat this extreme level!"

Fran averted his eyes. "I don't fight in hopeless battles."

"Aha!" Ryohei exclaimed, looking very smug. "You can't win at this."

"Aha. You just died." Fran smirked and pointed out to the TV screen that showed 'Game Over' on it, making Ryohei almost break the controller in anger.

"This game is extremely evil!"

* * *

Bel took the controller after him, all smug and pleased with himself as he finished the first half of the second level. "The prince will let all know who is the mast-"

He died.

"That wall is unbeatable," Yamamoto noted sagely.

Bel tried to commit murder.

* * *

"Shut up you brats, I got this shit," Squalo said as he started playing the fourth level.

And then, all of that level's monsters were attacking him relentlessly at once. It was too much to handle so he, predictably, died.

"Fuck this shit!" he exclaimed as he angrily threw away the controller.

* * *

No one gave Levi a turn.

He cried.

No one cared.

* * *

Lussuria tried, but at the third level's boss, he was burned to death.

"This game has issues. Lots of them."

* * *

Mammon only collected the bets from the losers, too wise to play the game.

Some game developers were completely demonic after all.

* * *

Chrome reached the fifth level, and then she paused, looking at the room she was supposed to pass over with frustration.

There were spikes everywhere, on the walls, on the floor, on the platforms and even on the apples. Touching any would make her die.

"Uh, what are you doing, Chrome?" Tsuna asked when he saw her looking at the console from every side.

"I'm checking if this game is possessed, Bossu," she answered.

* * *

Mukuro somehow managed to pass the fifth level and went on to the sixth.

As soon as he walked one step, a dragon shot a huge fireball with spikes spreading everywhere at him.

"Why hello there, sixth path of hell."

* * *

Hibari died by a knife at the first level.

"Laugh and blood will be shed."

* * *

Xanxus surprisingly managed to beat the ninth level and was currently starting the tenth.

Until he got frozen by merely touching a snow flake.

The irony of this was so painful.

* * *

Lambo was gliding through the levels, much to the others' amazement.

The boss of the tenth level put a stop to this though and easily managed to kill him.

The boss was a cake frosting, not a cake, just the frosting.

"What the actual hell?!"

* * *

  _"What sick psychotic fuck playtested this and said 'Yeah, you know what, dying all the time's alright, but I wish the game killed me more?'"_  


—  **LordKat**  on  _Silver Surfer._

* * *

"Where are you all going?"  _While being heavily armed, too!_  Tsuna asked.

"We're just going to file a complaint to the developers of this game, Tenth."

"And maybe destroy Nintendo along with that."

Before he could even try to stop them, they were already out.

Tsuna sighed, he could imagine the stacks of bills that he would have to pay for already.

_Well, at least the place is quiet._

He took the abandoned controller and proceeded to play the game.

And finally, after so many years, he finished it.

* * *

  _"...you're angry and you want to win. You wanna beat the Nintendo. But the cold fact is that nobody cares but you."_  


—  **The Angry Video Game Nerd**  on  _The Karate Kid_  for NES.


End file.
